Stoicism and fly-fishing: Week three

Here are this week’s thoughts.¹

“Don’t be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill just like a soldier on the wall of battle. So what if you are injured and can’t climb up without another soldier’s help?” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

You shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help. We tell the students in class, or clients while guiding, “the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask and wish you had.” I don’t know what makes people hesitate to ask for help. Is it pride, embarrassment, timidness?

I’ve noticed over the years that the folks who are more accomplished at a skill are also the most likely to ask for help if they encounter a challenge. It’s better to know what you do not know than to assume that you know all you need to know. You are letting yourself down and missing out on improvements if you don’t take time to ask for some help.

“Fortune doesn’t have the long reach we suppose, she can only lay siege to those who hold her tight. So, let’s step back from her as much as possible.” —Seneca, Moral Letters

This one is tough. Good fortune we embrace, ill fortune we avoid. I’ve found it’s better to not rely on fortune either way, rather trust to experience and skill.

“Let Fate find us prepared and active. Here is the great soul—the one who surrenders to Fate. The opposite is the weak and degenerate one, who struggles with and has a poor regard for the order of the world, and seeks to correct the faults of the gods rather than their own.” —Seneca, Moral Letters

“It is what it is,” a common refrain and a fly-fishing maxim. On any given fly-fishing adventure, there are plenty of things to complain about if you go looking for them. But what’s the point of bitching and moaning? Unless you can fix them yourself, it is what it is. Do what you can with what’s in your control don’t let what isn’t diminish the adventure.

“Don’t let your reflection on the whole sweep of life crush you. Don’t fill your mind with all the bad things that might still happen. Stay focused on the present situation and ask yourself why it’s so unbearable and can’t be survived.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

If there is a better reason to go fly-fishing then to take a break from the “whole sweep of life,” it eludes me. Spend any time with the sport and you learn about its healing aspects. Two things happen when I’m fishing. One, the other hassles of life melt into the background and two, they can be addressed and managed better when I return.

“If then it’s not that the things you pursue or avoid are coming at you, but rather that you in a sense are seeking them out, at least try to keep your judgment of them steady, and they too will remain calm and you won’t be seen chasing after or fleeing from them.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“Easy does it,” I said to the student as they hooked a fish for the first time. The excitement was canceling out the training and things could unravel quickly. My being calm helped them settle down and focus on the new skill they had learned. Me shouting rapid fire directions won’t help. The time to get excited is when the fish was safely in the net. Same goes for trying to catch a rising fish. “Take a couple of cleansing breaths and make a smooth cast,” I’ll tell the client. Yes, it’s an exciting moment but to execute the cast well, save the excitement for later.

“We should take wandering outdoor walks, so that the mind might be nourished and refreshed by the open air and deep breathing.” —Seneca, On Tranquility Of Mind

Fly-fishing is good for you. It’s the wandering outdoors — “taking my fly rod for a walk,” — I like to say, that nourishes and refreshes. What better reason to go then that?

“If you are defeated once and tell yourself you will overcome, but carry on as before, know in the end you’ll be so ill and weakened that eventually you won’t even notice your mistake and will begin to rationalize your behavior.” —Epictetus, Discourses

This happens repeatedly when I’m teaching. They start making a few good cast, “I feel it, when I do it right,” then they fall back to old habits or actions and wonder why it’s not working. They settle for “ok” rather than “good.” That’s fine, until “ok” doesn’t get the job done. Later, they wish they had worked harder to make the good the habit, and started work on making the good better.

1. I’m reading Ryan Holiday’s “The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living.” While each day’s offering applies to everyday life, as a thought exercise, I’m writing on how each daily reference relates to my fly-fishing experience.